why?

i am so sick of living like this, every time i try to get in a little happier mood, it just does not work, there is always someone there to make SURE i dont have that ability, something as simple as stapling up a small banner from my early childhood outside my radio room, and all that can be said is a gripe about the fact i used very small staples to tack it to the wall....... i am so sick of this shit, all the fucking time, all i wanted to do was to put up a little banner from my elementary school, it was so fragile, and worn out that it just fell to pieces when i took it down, the house has cracks the size of my ass crack in the walls and spider webs about to take over, and i cant even hang a small banner with 2 staples without griping... GOD DAMN i am so sick of this, i feel like i am in hell with just a little less heat...

my life needs an enema, maybe i can take a big life-shit if i am able to go out on the road.... i will miss my big brother so much though...

i was in such a good mood when my big brother came to see me this morning, he brought me word that i was missed at the gun store, and a 10 round magazine for my beloved 1911-a1 45 pistol......

how in the world am i ever going to be able to pay my big brother back for all he has done for me......oh well, if someone reads this i will probably have to hear about it, or they will act all weird toward me.... oh well... wall of voodoo is on the xm here in my room , the original "mexican radio" .. i love that song almost as much as i like murray head's one night in bangkok... so will let you guys get back to your life!